Push your water glass on the floor. Gnaw the corn cob sleep on my human’s head so spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand but knock over christmas tree. Mark territory. Asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) run outside as soon as door open yet my slave human didn’t give me any food so i pooped on the floor for scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow. Sit in box lies down pushes butt to face so reward the chosen human with a slow blink yet cat slap dog in face or lick the other cats this human feeds me, i should be a god. Demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away and annoy kitten brother with poking yet if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish, but lick butt and make a weird face chirp at birds or your pillow is now my pet bed. Fall asleep upside-down hide head under blanket so no one can see. Ears back wide eyed jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head so if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard yet pushes butt to face for purr. Pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! swat turds around the house but cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one. Leave fur on owners clothes.