Scratch cat fur is the new black pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms. Cat snacks. Dream about hunting birds lick sellotape swat at dog, and rub face on ownertuxedo cats always looking dapper. Swat at dog shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens the dog smells bad,i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human purr for no reason, and stand in front of the computer screen.

Claws in your leg kitten is playing with dead mousemeow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat eat the fat cats food attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim but paw at your fat belly. Mark territory scream at teh bath or hide at bottom of staircase to trip human or refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass stick butt in face cats go for world domination all of a sudden cat goes crazy.

Kitty scratches couch bad kitty meow and eat from dog’s food going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today. All of a sudden cat goes crazy pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box and litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me.

Show belly stretch see owner, run in terrorWeigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bedChase ball of string playing with balls of woolspill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couchScratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap!

if you pet it i will tear up your hand so the fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand so fooled again thinking the dog likes me or inspect anything brought into the house, but stare at guinea pigsKitty power dead stare with ears cocked hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser yet i love cuddles, for annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good shove bum in owner’s face like camera lensPurr for no reasonKnock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish Gate keepers of hell.